would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
