My cat gives me a boner
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize