I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Floor bacon is actually really good
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
