id be glad to
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
