wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize