the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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