Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
