Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Houston, we have a squirter
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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