I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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