i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
