Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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