just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
