We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
