The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
birth control should be required to get into college
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I need water and some morals
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
