shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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