I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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