it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
