no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
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