We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I think my vagina is haunted
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize