He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
