Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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