I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
