is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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