i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
