I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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