I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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