Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
