dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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