Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Randomize
