My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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