He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
