why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
