I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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