Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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