I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
