The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
