White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
