First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
