I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Randomize
