Is it normal to miss your booty call?
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
