I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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