their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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