This girl is more easily done than said...
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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