North Korea, Best Korea!
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
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