Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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