How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
