It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize