we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
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