I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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