She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
