I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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