We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
my penis made a compromise with my morals
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
