yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
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Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
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Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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