so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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