Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
