Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You had me at "let me see your balls"
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize