Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
