Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
