I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Man, jail baloney is awful.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
