vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
