apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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