lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
