we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
