i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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