idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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