The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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