Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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